my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
