just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
