need another drink. this is the easiest way
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
