Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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