my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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