You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
