These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
