My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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