Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Bring me that man meat
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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