I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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