he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Randomize
