Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
