Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Ladies don't puke and tell
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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