Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
