why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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