So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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