Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it