just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...