did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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