I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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