I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
