Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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