I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
