just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
