Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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