just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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