So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
