Can i not drive my cunt home
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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