Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
