I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
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High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
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For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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