i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
