O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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