I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize