Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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