That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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