weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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