you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
