The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
