Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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