I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
