I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
