She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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