why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
