There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize