Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Operation Purity has been aborted
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
