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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Shut the hell up.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.

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• (714): View more from California

  They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.

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• (516): View more from New York

  YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia

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