I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
