every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
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you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
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Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia