There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
