Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
