another moral hangover. fuck.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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