I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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