I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
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He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
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just got permission to expense a nerf gun
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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