He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
