Acid is not a monday night drug
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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