i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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