Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
