ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The beer is more important than you right now.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
