Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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