Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize