I just pynch a tree in the face
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Randomize
