How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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