4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
