He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
