I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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