Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
