Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
