i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize