Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
